About My Disappearance From The Hardcore Scene In 2004

why did i disappear from the hardcore scene in 2004? the main thing that happened was this: after the experimental hardcore scene broke down somewhere around the year 2000, i fell into a deep void. the thing that i spent most of my energy on for years didn't exist anymore. to escape this hole, i tried various things. eventually i got stuck with spirituality and esotericism. it filled the void for a while. i got deeper and deeper into it, occultism, satanism, trying to invoke demons, that kinda business. the end of this development was that i ended up being in contact with a very extreme "christian" sect / cult. that experience nearly killed me, for real (i'm not kidding. i was moving towards death). in the end my family intervened to safe me. i don't know what would've happened otherwise.
i'm still not fully recovered from this experience. but i'm doing my best, and hope one day this is all behind me. -Low Entropy

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